Obviously, my first thought was that I needed to capture the changes in my sex drive. The second thought, being a project manager, was that the solution probably involved spreadsheets.
Bonus free tip. If you own a penis, and you're wearing it under a short skirt, and you own a feisty cat, wear underpants. That Is All.
The second most horrific living nightmare is smelling of BO, specifically me believing other people thinking I smell of BO. It haunts me.
Gender identity is just some dumb, made-up shit that no-one really cares about in 2018. Gender identity is the new horoscopes.
Because few things are as good as a bad clerihew. Wait, is it the other way round? Featured in this week's antithesis of intelligent satire: privileged white men Nige Lawson and Chris Heaton-Harris.
I decided I would start writing poems again because I have time on my hands and would love to learn more about poetry. I used to write them when I was 13 and was basically living Adrian Mole's life. They haven't improved since then. But at least you get to read them now!
I'm familiar with the arguments about the possibility of killing an innocent person, but here's the thing; it's not the death penalty that kills them, but the bad system which sentences them to death in the first place. We can't claim that a system that allows innocent people to be tried is any better than a system that allows innocent people to be killed.