The Nonbinary PM on: wearing clothes

I went through a lot of titles for this post – “The Nonbinary PM on: genderfluid/genderless/gender-neutral dressing”, “The Nonbinary PM on: crossing clothing lines” – but rejected them all.

Here’s @jvn looking gorg at the Emmys. I’m not entirely sure that I could rock that Dick Strawbridge ‘tache with quite the same confidence, but I would totally take on the rest of the look.

I’ve been thinking a lot about clothing lately. Since my mental health issues really escalated, I’ve been obsessed with the stupidity of “men’s” and “women’s” clothes and how pointless the concept of gendered clothing seemed.

It started with leggings, for some reason. I couldn’t understand why men didn’t wear them. I looked all over the high street, I searched online, and they’re quite difficult to find. Amazon sell some, via an Australian company called Kapow Meggings. Kapow do not do meggings (I can barely bring myself to use that word) for shy people:

And at £40-plus quid a pair they do not make meggings for tight people, which ruled me out. Asos did a perfectly serviceable pair of plain black leggings for under a tenner and I bought two pairs.

For some weeks I prevaricated about actually wearing them. This was an ongoing symptom of my obsessions; I would obsess over something, buy them/do it, and the obsession would fade or more likely be replaced. So the leggings sat in my drawer for a few weeks until I dared try them on.

Nothing happened.

Well actually I began to fuss about VPLs for the first time ever, but apart from that, I wore leggings and nothing happened. The planet’s poles did not reverse. The oceans did not run dry and the deserts did not freeze over. I did not get an erection and masturbate while wearing them (which is something I worried I might want to do if I was just a kinky crossdresser).

Instead I just lounged around the house in some supercomfy casual wear and felt somewhat more streamlined than normal, and that was pretty much it.

After that I branched out a little. I bought some women’s brogues, also from Asos, which I preferred to the men’s because they were smaller (I’m a shortarse and have correspondingly small feet) and they weren’t as ridiculously pointy. Men’s fashion shoes, I have always felt, were so pointy they could be used as an ice pick. The Asos Mojito brouges were more rounded and I liked them. I have at least four pairs of Converse that were labelled on the website as women’s shoes, but no one has ever said, “hey, aren’t they women’s shoes?” I also have some women’s running tights from Converse.

I have some women’s pyjama bottoms, because I didn’t like any of the colours that men’s came in and I couldn’t see any other difference (there’s a good reason for that and I suspect you already know what it is).

I bought two black skirts from Boohoo. One is mid-thigh, although I can’t get used to wearing it with the waistband above my belly button, which appears to be the correct way to wear them. The other is quite a bit shorter and tighter, and I bought that with the intention of layering it either over black leggings or jeans. It actually looks quite good layered and as the multitude of fashion marketing emails I get keep telling me, layering is in again. To be honest, they’re comfy af and perfect to wear while lounging round the house. I tend to wear them while I’m painting my toenails because they don’t get in the way.

Bonus free tip. If you own a penis, and you’re wearing it under a short skirt, and you own a feisty cat, wear underpants. That Is All.

I bought some Stradivarius leggings. They look fantastic on but I can never wear them outside. When I say that they are tight, what I mean is that through the material you can see the teethmarks from the last time I received oral sex. Longline tops are your friend in this instance, unless you really do want to learn to tuck.

Here’s my point. As far as I can see, and I am demisexual so admittedly I don’t get regular intimate and personal close-ups of vagina-equipped bodies, women have very similar feet to men in roughly the same number. They have the same arrangement of lower limbs too, generally speaking. If women had square feet with three toes on the middle of each side, I could understand why we have “women’s shoes” and why they would have to be different from “men’s shoes”. But AFAIK they don’t and we just have the same feet, just as we have the same number of legs, the same number of arms and the same basic number of heads, give or take.

Therefore, as far as I can tell, surely there’s just ‘clothes’ and the rest is choice.

Photo by Vinicius Vilela from Pexels

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